i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
