I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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