like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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