I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
