I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
