think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
