I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
