I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
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