How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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