Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize