Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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