it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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