We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
