She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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