you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
