dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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