we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
