I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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