So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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