I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
