This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
