I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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