he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
