Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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