...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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