In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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