I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize