do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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