she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize