Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
