fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
