Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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