don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
