I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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