"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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