i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize