How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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