So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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