trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
