can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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