Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
