when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
