You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
