I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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