Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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