It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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