highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im six kinds of drunk right now
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
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I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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