You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
