Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
