You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You work out of a Hotel?
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
