dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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