I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
she woke up with a sticky ear
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize