You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
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Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
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You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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