god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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