Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
