If that was your dad, he is hot
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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