Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I need to calm my uterus...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
