Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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